Change can be a good thing

For years, six to be exact, I have been "peri menopausal."

It goes something like this:

Jacket/sweater on, hair down...jacket/sweater off, hair up.

Why doesn't anyone care about me (*sniff*), Oh, you guys are so sweet.

Happy, sad...happy, sad...happy, sad...all within one minute! Whew!

Can't sleep, hot flash, blanket off, sweaty, freezing, blanket on...repeat!!!


It's 15 degree's out, all the windows are open, fan on above my bed and a floor fan directly facing me. My husband is fully dressed for bed in his winter ski outfit, including hat and gloves, while I'm in shorts and a t-shirt.

Uh...I know who you are, um...my boss...what was your name again? Jeez, I've got early Alzheimers!

I think you have the general idea. I have been going CrAzY! I'm sure if you ask my family, they would say something that sounds like..."you're going cRaZy, do you have any idea what you're putting us through!"

Dear Lord, I understand you're trying to prepare me for a new phase of my life, but this is a bit extreme, don't you think?! Can you just cool it down a notch! And the emotional bondage..ughh!

Peri menopause- the transition period before menopause, usually lasting 1-3 years. Hello, it's been six for me!! Your cycle is irregular, you can't sleep, your memory is shot, you're extremely emotional, and you feel like your going crazy. You are considered menopausal when you don't have a cycle for one year, and yes you still suffer with the above! Nice!

I could have anywhere from 10-20 hot flashes an hour to over 100 in any given day. I was taking bio-identical hormones, with little results. In January, my doctor suggested I try a different medication, this would be my fourth. After a brief trial period and no difference, I decided something had to change.

After doing some research, and reading a book and blog of a dear friend, I decided it was time to kick it up a notch. Overall my health was fair, not great. I wanted to feel better, have more clarity, and look better. You know...turn some heads!

I have done this diet and that, worked out here and there, but never consistent. In June I turned 49, it hit me, "Yikes! I'm getting old!" I felt like time is really, really catching up to me. I have five children, three still at home, and two grown children with children of their own. I'm a grandmother, and I want to live to enjoy all my children and my grandchildren.

I began to make some subtle changes. I quit taking all medications, and cut out caffeine. This took about a two week period. The side effects coupled with those hormonal issues, made me very unpleasant! In July we went to Disneyland and upon our return, I suffered miserably with extreme edema in my lower extremities. That's when I new it was time for a change!

Slowly, I started changing my diet. I began eating more raw and vegetarian dishes, trying to stay away from meat, dairy, wheat, sugar, processed food, anything packaged with something I can't pronounce, and glutton. After reading Jill's book and doing much research, I was prepared to start on my journey of change. However, I was terrified I wouldn't receive the support from my husband, and hence this would be another unsuccessful attempt. After praying about it and sharing my thoughts with my husband, to my surprise, he wanted to join me in this new change.

On July 6th my husband and I did the Master Cleanse with careful guidance from my dear friend, Jill. We did the cleanse for seven days, followed by juicing for five. Then our diet consisted of mostly, fresh green juice or green smoothie in the morning, then eating raw or semi-vegan diet for the most part. I can't say we are true vegans, as we eat fish, always fresh and wild, usually once a week. We do have cooked meals. Occasionally I will make tofu, soups and chili. Right now we are having a blast experimenting with foods. I really am enjoying creating in the kitchen. We have occasionally had some chicken and other foods(dairy, yeast, glutton). Our body reacted negatively to these foods and we suffered greatly, from stomach problems to head aches. As a result, we realized how bad some foods really made us feel. On Thanksgiving, my 15 year old son (a chef in training) decided to make the entire meal. Yes, we did have some turkey, but he also prepared plenty of fresh vegetables for us to eat.

As for my children...well, it's been tough. There are some things they will eat, other things they will not touch. And you know what, that's okay. Unfortunately, I created bad eating habits in them, and it will take a while for them to accept our change. I don't want to force the issue on them, I want them to see for themselves. After all, they are not me! They love fresh green smoothies, so were one step ahead of the game. Since I home school my children, as an elective I'm teaching about nutrition.

My husband has lost over 30 pounds and I over 20 pounds. We both have more energy and feel great. As for my hot flashes, I may have five a day and still no medication. We both have recieved great compliments, "you've lost so much weight." " Your skin looks great." "You're glowing." I plan on starting an exercise program come the first of the year, starting by getting back on my treadmill and walking.

Now, I am not in any way saying that if you make these changes, you too will have the same results. I'm just sharing my story. Nor am I suggesting that you become a vegan or start eating raw foods, again it's a personal choice. What I would suggest...you investigate things for yourself. Pray about it and ask the Lord to show you what is best for you. We recently watched Food Inc., great movie. I highly recommend it, and no...I don't believe watching the movie will make you a vegetarian. But it will heighten your awareness of what you are eating.

Before

One month later

two months later

October

Chili with cashews as a sour cream

Taco salad with walnuts as taco meat, homemade guacamole,

salsa and chips from a spelt tortilla

Jicama salad with avocado instead of mayonnaise

Cauliflower red coconut curry soup

Raw chocolate cake

Made with walnuts, dates and some raw cocoa.

Drizzled with homemade chocolate and vanilla cream sauce.
Chocolate sauce is made from raw cocoa and agave.

The vanilla sauce is cashews, agave and vanilla.
My husbands favorite..he loves chocolate!

Chocolate cheesecake with mint ganache.

All raw, no eggs, flour or dairy.

Excellent for the holidays!

I also make homemade hummus at least once a week, used to dip all our vegetables as well as a spread on our sandwich. I really am having a blast in the kitchen. Cooking has taken on a very different perspective.

As my dear friend Jill says: "I now eat to live, not live to eat!"

The Wonder Years

It's official, as of August 22, 2009, I now have three teenagers. It's so hard to believe that the only babies in my life now are my precious grandchildren.

When I was pregnant with my oldest (now 26 with two children of her own), one song in particular was always on my mind...The Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. I remember saying to myself..."I am not going to be like that!" I didn't want to miss out on anything. I want to always have a bonding relationship with my children.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13-16

I remember very clearly the day all of my children were born. I truly was in awe over how fearfully and wonderfully made each one of them where. But most importantly, I was honored that God blessed me with the opportunity to raise His children.

Sad but true, as time went on...there were bills to pay, lessons to study, a house to clean, meals to prepare, and many "not today, I got a lot to do." Yes, there were things I missed out on, but thank goodness, it's only a few things. I may not have been diligent about writing in their baby books, but I remember the first of everything, just like it was yesterday.

As my youngest was approaching his 13th birthday, I spent a lot of time reminiscing over my teenage years. They truly were the wonder years. I remember how overwhelmed I would feel at times. I've been doing a lot of listening to my teens lately...and you know what...they wonder the same things I did.

Will my friends accept me?

Am I pretty/good looking?

Am I smart enough?

Why does God let people suffer?

Why doesn't he/she like me?

Are my parents proud of me?

Why don't my parents like me?

Why do my parents constantly nag me?

What am I going to do when I grow up?

Should I have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Should I have sex?

Should I drink, do drugs?

Where should I work?

You all know the list goes on and on...the wonder years!

Something I realized as a parent to teenagers, I too am again in the wonder years.

I wonder...

Did I instill good moral values in my children?

Do they understand God's grace?

Will they make the right decisions?

What will they be when they grow up?

Will they say "no" to sex, to drugs and drinking?

Will they be strong under peer pressure?

Will they stand firm in their faith?

Did I represent Christ character when raising them?

Why don't they like me?

Will they trust God's promises for their life?

The list goes on and on...the wonder years.

It won't be long and I will be writing about the "empty nest syndrome." For now...I plan on enjoying the wonder years...cause I don't wanna miss a thing!

Many of you know, I already have two grown children, with children of their own. I am so proud of both of them. They are truly remarkable people. I am happy to say, they both are my closest and dearest friends. They live in different States, but we speak to each other almost daily.

Each and everyone of my children, created by the Almighty, are unique in there own way with their own style and quirks. As I've watched them grow, I am amazed at how God has a plan for all of us...no two plans are alike. I pray they will listen to His voice, always have faith, hold fast to His word and trust His promises.

I am richly blessed!

The Shepherd

Last Sunday the sermon was on Psalm 23. I haven't been able to think of much else this week. Funny thing is, I've heard this Psalm read many times, especially during a funeral. But, as I reflect on it this week and the message of my Pastor, something beautiful has unfolded.

I've mentioned here that, we have changed our diet. Today, my husband and I started a cleansing, a detox. We both want to be healthy and rid ourselves of all the harm we've done to our bodies over time. I believe this Psalm will carry me through this process. I know, it will not be easy...trust me when I say I got a "taste" of it this morning when I started. What I am certain of is this is the Lords will for my life, otherwise He would not have lead me in this direction.

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Websters defines shepherd as one who tends sheep. And the meaning of the word tend...to watch over.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me- just as the Father knows me and I know the father-and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:14-15

You see, the Lord is my shepherd...He owns me, He knows me, He watches over me, He cares for me, He provides for me. Therefore, I shall not want. It's important for me to be satisfied with His provisions for me, because they will always be perfect because He knows exactly what I need. It may not be what I want, but that isn't important. What's important is knowing that I can trust His provisions for my life.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.

He provides a place of rest for me and calms my storms, helping me find a sense of strength through Him. Again, it's all about trust.

3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Think about this verse for a moment. In my fallen nature, He rebuilds me. Wow, He creates multiple opportunities for me to seek Him. Just like a father leading his child through a crowd, He creates a path for me...leading me to somewhere safe. When I decide to take short cuts, he redirects my path...it's all up to me to trust and follow.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

When I read this verse, I think of a dark valley....my depression, often leads me to this valley. Here's the thing...He protects me! How do I know, how does anyone know? Believe me when I say, it is when you're broken...you know, you feel His presence. He leads you out of that valley. Again, you must trust and follow...He knows what you need, He will provide and protect. His love never fails!

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

Even in the presence of our enemies, we can still be blessed. Why, because He will always win over the enemy! For me, often the enemy is in my mind. Satan places such foolish thoughts, controlling thoughts in my head, it wears me out physically, emotionally and mentally. The wonderful thing is...He delivers me! He defends and protects me, He will never forsake me...It's all about trust!

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.

This verse confirms His undying love for me. Sinful as we all are, Jesus died and made a way for me, for you, to live with Him forever! Ask yourself this question...would you be willing to let your child die to save the world, your enemies? God has given ALL an opportunity at eternal life.

"I am the good shepherd." The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. John 10:11

This Psalm is all about trust. How much do you trust Him?