PAID IN FULL

Almost 35 years ago, I bought my first car. A forest green 1973 Mercury Capri. My father graciously agreed to co-sign a loan for me for two years. Afraid to risk ruining my credit, I diligently paid my car payments every month. Besides, my father told me "you miss a payment, I take the car."

I remember how excited I was to show my friends my car. (You really don't think of the bank as owning your car at that age). Even though I had the car in my possession, I didn't quite own it. I was required to regularly make payments. Once the final payment was made, I received the loan document with the words...PAID IN FULL stamped across. It was at that moment, I realized I owned my car free and clear, all for a hefty price. (Well, hefty for a 17 year old).

This was my first real experience with a major purchase. I remember how much I had to sacrifice to maintain those payments on a monthly basis. In the end, to me, it was worth every sacrifice.

A lot has happened during these last few weeks in Recovery, the most important-getting to know Jesus at a much more intimate level.

Good Friday and the events that take place leading up to Easter Suday moves me emotionally. What makes this time so emotional for me, Christ on the cross. At this scene, I weep inconsolably. It's so difficult for me, it shames me to know that He made the final payment for my sins, for my salvation. I just don't feel worthy and I can't understand why I can't be good. How many times will He forgive me...Seventy times seven. Will there ever be a sin for which there is no forgiveness?

What I've realized is He's forgiven...

The adulterous "Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin." John 8:11

A sinful women "Your sins are forgiven." Luke 7:48

A criminal "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." Luke 23:4

All who crucified Him "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing."
Luke 23:34

There are so many more situations where He has forgiven.

I no longer have to make monthly payments for my sins, Christ made the final payment for me. His ransomed life redeemed my salvation. I didn't have to sacrifice anything, He sacrificed for me. An ultimate sacrifice...He laid down His life for me. Why?

I've been trying to wrap my brain around this. What makes me so special?

In Websters, the word ransom, when used as a verb means: to deliver. Free from captivity or punishment by paying a price.

Why? Because God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him. John 3:16-17

God gave His Son. When we give something to someone, it's a gift. God has graciously given us the gift of eternal life through Jesus. There are no strings attached, no cost to me...it's GRACE!

What makes me so special? I am created by God, for God. He has a purpose for me. That purpose, to live my life by GRACE.

God knows we are all sinners by nature, He knows we will continue to sin. Something I've come to realize through Recovery is GRACE. God has resurfaced some of my past sins, as a result, I have confessed some of them. You know what I've received...forgiveness, freedom, and unconditional love. That's GRACE! No matter how much I can't forgive myself, God forgives me, and Christ shed His blood for me.

Jesus life and death was for one purpose, to free all from captivity by suffering the punishment in our behalf. What did it cost me-nothing. What did it cost Jesus- His life. Why did He do it...for love. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:12

As I sit at the Cross, I am deeply moved by this unmerited love Jesus has shed for me. To Jesus, I'm worth the sacrifice. He has made the final payment...my salvation... PAID IN FULL!

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's GRACE that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
Ephesians 1:7-8

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages He might show the incomparable riches of His GRACE, expressed in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith-and not of yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:6-8