A Gift

I woke this Christmas morning, with a blog post prepared in advanced for today. But then, yesterday happened....

It's Christmas Eve, I'm working. My job...taking care of tiny babes. During this week, in the NICU we have been busy creating footprint ornaments and Christmas photographs of the babies to give as a gift to the parents. One by one, I placed these memories created of their precious little babes at the bedside. As the day began, parents arrived.

I watched...

The Christmas Spirit unfolding right before my very eyes.

A young mother, tears stream down her face as she held the ornament in her hands.

Another...tears as she holds her baby. She's being discharged home today, her baby must stay. She'll wake Christmas morning with no babe in her arms. She cuddles him, nestles in the chair, soon she's asleep.

A father leans into the isolette and smells his new born baby. "I just love the smell of new life," he says.

A mother at her babes bedside, tears stream down her face. He's been here a while, almost three months. We embrace, we cry. Her husband is in another Country, her babe in the hospital. Another mother waking on Christmas morning empty handed. As she holds her baby, she looks at the pictures we've taken...smiles, laughter, more tears.

Another family, one I've known for 96 days arrived with gifts for other families they've met during their stay. Their faces are full of joy today, it's possible their babe will be going home on Tuesday.  They've been through so much! I've grown to love this family. As we talk, I fight to hold back the tears. I'm trying to figure out how to let go...

As I lay my head down for the night, visions of Christmas past fill my thoughts. I remember those late nights...last minute wrapping, waiting for children to fall asleep so that I may place the gifts from him (Santa) under the tree.

Then early in the mornings...sometimes 3am, a child would rush to my bed..."He came! He came!"

I can't lie...I miss those days. The excitement as the children open their gifts.  The frustration as we (my husband and I) assemble many toys. The exhaustion. The family gatherings.

The past few years, I've seen things differently.

But, something really changed for me this year...

While my three children are still nestled in their beds.

I hardly doubt visions of sugar plums dance in their heads.

It hit me...

I wish I knew Jesus then, as I do now.

I wish my children would wake up saying...He came! He came! And be speaking of the Christ Child, not Santa.

This has been an extraordinary year.

I started this year in search of truth. Exhausted from trying to battle life by my own power, as my own god, I hungered for peace, joy, love, forgiveness, life, freedom, grace...

As the Christmas season comes upon us...I see things so differently.

Memories of childhood Christmas past...the gifts, so many. Ripping open packages, one after the other, from the eyes of my youth...it was pure delight, joy! It seemed as if I always got everything I ever wanted, yet I always wanted more.

My childhood turns to parenthood, and the joy of getting is replaced by the joy of giving...yet, my heart still yearns for more. Don't misunderstand, I love giving...but, as I look back, the motive wasn't always good.

This year I have grasped a new understanding of the true meaning of Christmas, the greatest gift ever given...Christ.

Christmas is a time where many celebrate the birth of our Savior.  We all know, Christ wasn't born on December 25th., it's just a day that's been selected to celebrate His birth.

Why celebrate?

I want to share a few things I've come to realize about this precious gift...

From the beginning, creation...God already had His plan in place for our salvation.
Genesis 3:15 "And I will put an enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." Her offspring-Jesus!

Isaiah 7:14 speaks of God's promise of the Savior. Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call Him Immanuel. Also, Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I've been reading in Matthew and Luke, the story of Christ birth.

Again, I recall the birth of my children, my pregnancies. I can't help but look at things through the human eyes of Mary. Mary, so faithful to God, so trusting, was humbled to honor God's plan. "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Luke 1:38  I can imagine how difficult it must have been for a young women, a virgin, not yet married, to be fully exposed to the judgement of society.

I place myself at the Inn where Mary, already laboring is told there is no room. As I rearranged furniture in my living and dining room to make space for our tree, I remember thinking to myself in my frustration...it's so crowded in here...there's just no room for anything! Then it hit me...how petty! Mary had no home, no bed. Joseph gathers hay in the stable; a bed for Mary as she gives birth. She births her firstborn son, wraps Him in cloths and places Him in a manger.

Fast forward to 2010. As a NICU nurse, I have attended many deliveries, not in a stable...but a comfortable, warm, controlled environment of the hospital.  The baby is placed on a warmer (not an animal trough), cleaned and bundled, then handed to his mother. I think about the difference in the births of today, than the one Mary had. I can't help but be in awe over Mary's faith and trust in God.



I think about the similarities. Did Joseph, love the smell of Jesus...THE LIFE.

Did Mary shed tears of joy as she held her babe? Can you picture her snuggled in the hay, lying on her side...baby Jesus in her arms?  Can you?

As the babe lay in the manger, in fields nearby, an angel appears to the shepherds. "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

The shepherds go to Bethlehem to see this babe. After they saw Jesus, they spread the word about what the angel had told them about this Child. Many were amazed by what the shepherds said. Something stood out for me, that hasn't before...

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

I can't help but wonder, Mary knows Jesus is the Son of God, but does she grasp the full meaning of  His purpose?

My youngest is fourteen. At twelve Jesus had begun preparing for His purpose.

What is the meaning of the Christmas Spirit? For many, this time of year can be depressing. Loss of jobs, loss of homes, memories of loved one's lost. The pressure of trying to find the perfect gift for others. We become so focus on what we don't have, we lose sight of what we do have...isn't that what the Christmas Spirit is all about?





This year, my oldest son came to me and said he didn't want me to buy him gifts this year. He wanted me to use that money to give to another family in need.  He said, "I have everything I need, anything else is just a want. I've been thinking about how many people don't have what I have, I want to give."

It hit me...I never really spoke to my children during their formative years about Jesus. But this year, Jesus has become the center of my life. I've changed. Do they feel it? Do they see Him in me?

One by one, as my children heard of what my son wanted to do...they too shared the same desire. Christmas gifts were selected and presented.  They don't know it yet, but someday, when they look back...they'll understand, they'll feel the Christmas Spirit. Both my children and the children who received, will realize it's not about the toy...it's about what was felt in their heart.

The Christmas Spirit is that of...

Love

Light

Hope

Peace

It's understanding, that all these things come from one of the most precious gifts God has bestowed upon mankind...

A babe...Jesus!

Jesus was born with a purpose, to die that we may have life. God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. 2Corintians 5:21

You can't look at the birth of Jesus and not look at the cross.

His life, the cross, and resurrection portrays...

Suffering and healing. Jesus suffering for our healing. His death on the cross, His separation from God the Father...such anguish for one man to bear. It's by His wounds we are healed!

Rejection and triumph. How many betrayed and rejected Jesus? In His human nature, He surely felt rejected by God the Father. He begged God to take this cup from Him...yet, "not my will, but yours be done." Luke 22:42. An empty tomb...triumph...VICTORY!


                       HE CAME!  HE CAME!



Merry Christmas!