The Wonder of Birth

My friend Michelle stopped by work yesterday, with good news to report. Both her and baby, Faith are doing very well. You could see the joy in her face...that of a mother with child.

As Christmas approaches, I've been thinking about the birth and life of Christ in a different light. Seeing the "pregnancy glow" on Michelle's face made me wonder...

How much did Mary's face glow?

I remember visiting Michelle while she was in the hospital in preterm labor. The fear and tears for her unborn daughter also made me think...

Did Mary and Joseph understand the depth of Jesus life and His sacrifice for mankind?

Working as a NICU nurse, you can read so many emotions on a parents face. Some of those emotions, take me back to when all my children were born. I was in awe! A miracle!

Mary, the mother of Jesus must have been experiencing the same things, and more.

After having children, my recall of Christ birth is different than when I was a child. I can't imagine delivering a baby in a barn, I would have been terrified. I'm certain Mary was calm, knowing God had everything carefully planned.

When I heard my babies first cry...relief!

I wonder what Mary thought when she heard the cry of Jesus.

As I found myself staring at my new born, I had such hopes and dreams for them. I wondered...what will their future hold?

Did Mary fear for the future of her Son? As a mother, did she somehow have the urge to plea with God to change His plans for Jesus?

My friend Michelle is no doubt counting and recording the weeks of her daughter's progress. Depending on when she is born, Michelle will record the little things she does...first steps, first words...

In the Bible we read about Christ first visit to the Temple, His baptism, His teachings, His love, His miracles performed, His faith, His death...

As a mother, somehow I can't help but wonder what Mary was thinking/feeling as she silently recorded these events to her memory.

I am amazed at the faith, trust and hope of Mary and others I read about in the Bible. I too want to live that way. In our fallen nature it's so darn hard at times.

This year as Christmas approaches and the year comes to an end...I feel so blessed!
I have an amazing group of friends and family. I am also drawing closer to Him. It's good to know that even when I fail, and yes, sin...He continues to forgive and draw me closer to Him.

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
-Luke 2;10-14

May you all have a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Calling All Prayer Warriors!

Would you all please stop over MckMama's blog and pray for Stellan.

Things aren't going so well for the little guy and they could really use our prayers.

Thanks & God Bless!

Hallmark

I love Hallmark Ornaments! Okay, I'll be honest, I'm obsessed with Hallmark Ornaments. This year there are so many I'm in love with. Let me explain why I'm so hooked.

Let me first tell you about a post written by Angie several months ago entitled, Blink. It's a beautiful post, be sure to check it out. In her post she explained that moments she treasures she tends to see as photographs. It could be any moment you want to capture, just "Blink," a picture taken and forever held in your memory.

That's exactly what I do with my ornaments. Every year I carefully select one, two, three or...(you get the picture) that reminds me of things that has happened throughout the year or past. My ornaments are my photographs, forever held in my memory and my heart.

This year I could easily purchase 10-12 ornaments. Unfortunately, that is not in my budget this year. I did get a few that hold very special memories for me. All purchased at Hooked on Hallmark. What a great site, you can even get ornaments from years past.

Where the Wild Things Are

Purchased two of these, one for me and one for my Grandson, Logan. All of my children and grandchildren loved when I read this story to them. It is a great book and brings back cherished memories.

Very Hungry Caterpillar

This one I just couldn't pass up, another favorite story. I love reading this story to the grandchildren. This one is for my granddaughter, Abby. Trust me when I say she is one very hungry caterpillar.

Wish List

I can still see all five of my children riding their trike for the first time. Sweet memories!


Again, cherished memories of all of my children playing with this toy. It actually makes a "moo" sound when you open the barn doors.

I love The Wizard of Oz. I remember watching it with each of my children. Can still picture their faces the first time they watched the movie. Push on a button and the guy behind the door says,"Who rang that bell?"

The Polar Express, one of my favorite movies this time of year. This is an ornament from the past. Not available at this time, but I'll keep checking.

Every year I try to purchase an ornament for my children, a reminder of that year. When they marry they will get all their ornaments. My oldest already has hers. I'm now doing the same for my grandchildren. What traditions do you have for this time of year?

A Precious Life

~~~Update~~~
To read more about this special day go to Meghan and Carrie's blog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today is the anniversary of Ricky's death. His foster mom, Meghan is here with her family. Truthfully, she was the only mother he ever knew. Yesterday at the hospital we had a dedication ceremony of the memorial bench placed outside the hospital a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I brought my camera, but forgot the batteries. I'll post some pictures later when I get some from Meghan.

It was a beautiful ceremony. Many nurses, respiratory therapist, Meghan's family and close friends were in attendance. Prayers and memories spoken were touching. Many, many tears were shed. As a final tribute we all set of balloons in his honor. Watching them float away, I wondered...could they reach heaven?

This precious little boy touched the hearts of all of us in the NICU, as well of hundreds of people through his website. For all in the NICU Ricky wasn't just your ordinary patient. He spent seven months in our unit, and we grew to love him as one of our own. If you weren't is primary nurse for the day or night, you always stopped by his crib to see his beautiful brown eyes and his toothless grin. We all sang to him, read him stories, and some even watched cartoons with him in the morning. Both day and night someone often rock him to sleep.

The doctors were soon running out of reasons for him to stay, which meant...foster care. Meghan, bless her heart, quickly got approved for her foster care license, and Ricky had a new home. She kept us all informed of his progress via his website and frequent phone calls. He was often admitted back in the hospital with complications. When he was in pediatrics at our hospital we all would visit.

His numerous medical complications began to take its toll on the little guy, ultimately causing his death. What a brave little solider he was. So much suffering for such a little baby.

Anticipating the dedication ceremony, I was consumed with my thoughts. God gives life and he brings it back to Him. What troubled me is understanding "why" He takes the life of an infant, or child loved by so many. I don't understand "why," Ricky, this precious little baby, had to endure so much suffering. Perhaps God couldn't stand to see Ricky suffer, or any other suffer, so He brings them home. After all, isn't our eternal life with God what we yearn for? Freedom from all our pain and suffering here on earth...a life of nothing but pure glory with our Heavenly Father.

Being a NICU nurse I still struggle with understanding the death of a baby. The pain and agony the family goes through just breaks my heart. The one thing that brings me peace is knowing and believing that they are now able to live an eternity with God.

I've realized how precious our life here on earth is, no matter how short. God breathed life into all of us for His purpose. Ricky's purpose in life, touched each and everyone of us differently. Ultimately, we are all truly blessed to have known him. I wonder if he knows how much he touched our lives.

Waking up from a nap.

Seriously people, another test?!

Cutie!

Happy Birthday!

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Psalms 23:4-6

Broken; Trust The Potter

Today, I am forty-eight. Yep, "I am special today, it's my birthday!" Why do we think that we have that written on our foreheads for everyone to see? Birthday's are special days...true? We all expect our days to be fantastic. I mean trumpets blowing, treated as a King or Queen, feel the earth move, and to have our day ended with extravagant fireworks displayed!


Actually, I have felt the earth move...since about 1 am we have had about 22 earthquakes. Don't worry, many have been less than a 2, with four being greater than a 3 with the highest being a 3.8. Believe me, living about 1-2 miles from several fault lines and living in a two story home...we feel it, but that is another blog.

I want to thank my dear friends Meghan and Angie for becoming a blogger. Meghan, I have known for years, and well, she wants everyone to blog. She is a fantastic friend and an inspirational person in more ways the one. She introduced me to Angie,  via blog. Angie is awesome and also extremely inspirational. I encourage you to check out her blog.  http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/

One of Angie's blog post, encouraged you to break something and put it back together, listening to what the Lord would reveal to you.  Wow, what an amazing experience, healing. Have you ever felt so broken from a heartache, loneliness, failure, abandonment, disappointment, rejection, death of a loved one, regrets, bad decisions...and so on. So broken you just can't face another day...I have and it aches beyond repair. Is your heart in a million pieces?

Does it hurt just to breath?

Break something!

Now, put it back together.

I broke my plate on Thursday. At first, I sort of tossed it at the wall. It only broke in three pieces. Not good enough, so I threw it with all my might against the wall...shattered!

I gathered all my pieces and tried to put two together with my glue gun, which by the way, didn't work. The pieces wouldn't stick together. Trip to the store, purchased two different types of glue...lets try this again.

Much better, I was able to get the pieces together, but had to hold them FOREVER or the pieces would fall apart. Because the process of holding took so long, my plate wasn't completed till this morning.

During the days of working on this plate, I spent time listening to Country and Christian music, and talking to God. I told God how frustrated I was with how long this was taking because I had to hold the pieces for so long.

"Patience" He says.

I reminded Him that I am not the most patient person(as if He didn't already know). I am the child who always asked "are we there yet?" As I continued to glue pieces day after day, time began to fly by. Was I becoming patient?

Just like Angie, I too came face to face with all my mistakes,the disappointments,the sins of my life. I was so angry at myself for walking out on God, believing all that happened to me was His will. I had gotten to the point in my life where I just couldn't take anymore. I blamed God. I thought I was so faithful, and He didn't help me(at least not the way I expected). I quit, just shut down, gave up...I became so numb to life in order to just cope with life. Angela Thomas, in her book, Do You Think I'm Beautiful says: "You are teaching yourself not to feel anything, and in doing so, you're missing everything."

While working on my plate, I told God how sorry I was for leaving. I begged Him to help me get back to Him, to forgive me for blaming Him for all the broken pieces in my life. I don't want to miss everything!

As I looked at my finished plate I saw many broken pieces. There were holes in my plate where I couldn't find the pieces to fit.
Could I have put some pieces in the wrong place?

How am I going to fix it?

Where will I find the pieces?

How will I ever fill those holes in my plate, in my life!

My plate really isn't complete...my life full of holes, waiting to be filled.

Here is what God said to me:

Marylea, do you not see what I see? It is beautiful and so are you! Don't worry I have forgiven you, I have never left you. Don't try to fill the holes, let me do it....trust me! Bring it to me. I hear you, I always hear you...you must try to hear me. You are special today and everyday!

Do it...break something...trust the potter to help you rebuild.

Paul's prayer for the Ephesians were as follows:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Ephesians 4:16-19

My Pastor today said something that reminded me how great Jesus love and sacrifice is.

"He ransomed his life so that I may be saved." Thank you Jesus!

You see, through my brokenness, God can do His best work! I've walked away from God for over 10 years, and upon my return, He ran to me with open arms. I am trying to grasp His love for me. Trying to understand Grace. For me, it's always been about what I can do to earn God's love. As a result, I've never felt I lived up. I believed, He was so disappointed that He abandoned me. In actuality, I abandoned Him.

I look forward to this journey back in the arms of Christ. I am nervous, fearful of the devils retaliation, and hopeful all at the same time. Thanks for joining me in this journey.

I should warn you...I am not the best writer...my husband says I have a tendency to write my thoughts, forgetting all about punctuation...forgive me.